Jonesy's Jukebox - Transcription Page

Jonesy's Jukebox 19th May 2006
Guests: Lemmy & Slim Jim Phantom

May 19th Lemmy and Slim Jim Visit The Box

Steve: You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox.

Lemmy: I'm not. (laughs)

Steve: Yes, you are.

Lemmy: All right.

Steve: Lemmy in the studio.

Lemmy: Sorry.

Steve: Hello, Lemmy.

Lemmy: Sorry everyone. Sorry Steve.

Steve: It's okay. Mistakes happen.

Lemmy: That wasn't a mistake, I'm just sorry.

Steve: And we have Slim Jim Phantom.

Slim Jim: Hello. I was trying to listen to the show, but Lemmy wanted to play the new Motorhead record for me in the car.

Lemmy: So he couldn't.

Steve: Well, he was excited. When'd you finish it, Lemmy?

Lemmy: About four days back.

Steve: Four days…past.

Lemmy: Yeah.

Steve: Ago.

Lemmy: Ago, a-gone. Yes.

Slim Jim: So, did you say anything really good that we missed in the last twenty minutes?

Steve: Well, I said what an idiot you are.

Slim Jim: Oh, well. I didn't miss anything, then.

Lemmy: (indecipherable - speaking under Slim Jim)

Steve: No, of course I would never say nothing bad about either of you. You know I had Bananarama in here yesterday, Lemmy.

Lemmy: Oh, yeah?

Steve: And one of 'em fancied you.

Lemmy: No they didn't. They were just saying that to be controversial.

Steve: I don't think so.

Slim Jim: Which one?

Steve: …back in the day. The blonde one fancied you.

Lemmy: Well, I passed them in the BBC canteen on several occasions none of them ever said anything.

Steve: What, for "Top Of The Pops"?

Lemmy: Yeah, stuff like that.

Steve: You probably intimidated them.

Lemmy: Yeah, probably. Well, they intimidate me. There's three of them, and they're called Bananasomething you know, which is always very intimidating. I they're used to Bananarama, what chance have I got? (all laugh)

Steve: Cucumberamarama.

Lemmy: Baby's Armaramba. (more laughter)

Steve: Nightstickarabarama.

Lemmy: There ya go…cruiser.

Slim Jim: Are they still in town listening to this today, you think?

Steve: I think so. They're going to Long Beach today. They're just out here doing signing thing. Promotional tour, I think they call them.

Slim Jim: Chicks always got to do those kind of things…

Steve: Do you ever do stuff like that, Lemmy?

Lemmy: Yeah, we used to do it a lot. We do press, we have a block of press days every now and again in Europe, you know.

Steve: Do you think it makes a difference, all that stuff?

Lemmy: Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It depends if you get the right people to come out and interview you. You know, if you get like, a bunch of fanzines and they don't cover a lot of people, you know - they're equally good but they don't cover a lot of people and the format doesn't get around. But if you get in a couple of good nationals or something, that's great you know. That will do something. Cos people don't know you're in town half the time. Cos the promoters don't spend any money to advertise. They just stick up three posters a half a mile from the venue and that's it. I remember in London, we played the…Town and Country. And you had one poster outside on a sandwich board outside the doors of the venue and you could already see it on the marquee, right…and then half mile away on a bridge, one poster. And I went right through the West End the night before - not a thing. Nothing. And we get in there and the guy had the nerve, he said, "You guys don't sell tickets anymore, do ya?" (laughs) You know, brilliant. No radio spots, no posters…

Steve: Well, I did hear a lot of people did walk over that bridge.

Lemmy: Yeah, they did. Yeah. Thing is, they walk in to work and they walk back again at five o'clock before the show. (they laugh)

Steve: Yeah, I know. It ain't…whatever. But you're doin' all right ain't ya?

Lemmy: Yeah, I'm doing fine.

Steve: Got a new album out, four days old.

Lemmy: Yeah.

Steve: What's it called? "Kiss Of Death".

Lemmy: That's the working title, yeah, I think it's probably going to be called that, yeah.

Steve: What label you guys on?

Lemmy: We're on…over here we're on Century.

Steve: Oh, yeah.

Lemmy: In Germany, we're on SPV.

Steve: Well, what are you doing with this pelican?

Lemmy: Well, he hasn't got anywhere to go see, so I took him on. He followed me around, so I kept him.

Slim Jim: Please. I'm the driver.

Lemmy: Yeah, he drives and he drums.

Steve: So, what is this then?

Slim Jim: Lemmy and I made a…

Lemmy: It's about five years old, that. You've never seen it? For shame…

Slim Jim: …record that we're just, finally releasing it.

Steve: They didn't have any posters up for it.

Lemmy: No radio spots…

Slim Jim: Now we're getting radio spots and our own posters. We're sticking 'em up ourselves.

Steve: Is there any bridges around here I can stick something up on?

Lemmy: I seen one, once. Burt Lancaster has one, I believe.

Steve: What, a bridge?

Lemmy: Yeah, but they knocked it down after he did that movie with Kirk Douglas, that was one. Didn't see that?

Steve: No, what's it called? "Bridge Over The River Kwai"?

Lemmy: I have no clue.

Slim Jim: "Bridges of Madison County"? (they laugh)

Lemmy: "Brides of Dracula'?

Slim Jim: Anyway, Lemmy and I made this record of all our favorite, favorite rockabilly stuff.

Lemmy: Mostly Buddy Holly, really.

Slim Jim: Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry and Johnny Cash and we've finally gotten around to finishing it and we did a DVD at Cat Club last year. We're finally getting around to editing that, so we're going to put it all out at once.

Steve: No Billy Fury, I see.

Lemmy: Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it. Well see, these people don't know about Billy Fury because they're Americans.

Steve: Well, he does, Slim Jim, doesn't he?

Slim Jim: Sure.

Lemmy: Only peripherally.

Steve: You know what I started off with today…

Slim Jim: "Rock With The Cave Man"?

Steve: No. You were probably listening to your album, but I started off with Shakin Stevens, "This Old House".

Lemmy: Right.

Slim Jim: Ahh. Good one.

Steve: Remember that? Did you ever used to go see him?

Lemmy: Yeah.

Slim Jim: He didn't like us.

Lemmy: He was good, he was a good actor.

Steve: He was. I saw him loads of times.

Lemmy: Johnny Kidd and The Pirates. They were excellent. They were the best…that was the best rock singer England ever had, for me.

Steve: Yeah. He was brilliant.

Lemmy: Putting on a show you know…I mean, before strobes, he had this roadie who used to have a broomstick along all the light switches and do this…(all laugh) it was like a strobe light thing. Jesus. I used to carry their guitars in to Llandudno Pier to get in for free, you know? And then hide in the venue until they come on, you know. Mick Green, excellent.

Steve: He was a good guitar player.

Lemmy: They came back in the punk era, too. Right?

Slim Jim: Yeah, they toured with us in '81, I think.

Lemmy: Yeah, they made a whole, a big comeback for a while.

Steve: Well, I liked that one song they did, "Someone's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight".

Lemmy: That's Vince and The Valiants…that was Fleetwood Mac.

Steve: Right. That's what I meant. That was Peter Green though?

Lemmy: Peter Green, yeah.

Slim Jim: Yeah, but Mick Green was The Pirates.

Steve: Oh, MICK Green. All these greens. Do you eat your greens?

Lemmy: Village green, see?

Steve: Yes. Society.

Lemmy: Yeah.

Steve: We're going to visit the Duke. We're here with Lemmy and…The Phantom and we'll be right back and listen to some world premiere of a Motorhead album.

Lemmy: World premiere of the dirty, nasty Motorhead, you know?

Steve: "Kissing Death" (sic) is the working title. Will it stick? Throw it up the pole and see who jumps on the top of it.

Lemmy: Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it.

Steve: Yesss. Take it away, Mr. Shovel.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: Hello, sons of bitches!

Lemmy: Hello, sons of bitches!

Steve: You're listening to…(pauses to listen to Lemmy who's playing his guitar) Jonesy's Jukebox, yes. Lemmy's got a guitar in his hand, I'm tuning one and Slim Jim's putting on some Brylcreem. (Lemmy is still playing in the background) Is that "Greensleeves"?

Lemmy: Used to be, before I screwed it up. Henry the Eighth wrote that you know, so they say.

Steve: He did, right?

Lemmy: So they say.

Steve: He was very talented, very talented, though.

Lemmy: (indecipherable)…some geezer working for him didn't even nick that, you know.

Steve: Like Elvis.

Lemmy: There was no copyright laws in them days.

Steve: Exactly. He was the King. Whatever he said, went.

Lemmy: It's good to be king, huh. I'm the eighth one.

Steve: Wouldn't you like to have been Henry the Eighth?

Lemmy: No. Too fat. He had gout.

Slim Jim and Lemmy: (at same time) He had a gammy leg. Eaaghh.

Steve: He had a gammy leg?

Lemmy: Yeah.

Steve: I know he had gout. What actually is gout, from rich food, right?

Lemmy: Yeah. It's the hardening of the arteries or something like that, I think. Bad circulation in the leg.

Steve: Red wine gives you gout as well. Port! No, port.

Lemmy: It's good for your heart, though.

Steve: It is?

Lemmy: So they say. (Steve laughs) They're probably lying, you know. It's all lies.

Steve: It's all lies.

Slim Jim: He got to chop their heads off if they bothered him, though.

Steve: Well, you know…

Slim Jim: No alimony.

Steve: I wish I could do that.

Lemmy: "Sire, he wants to die a rich man."
"His wish is granted. Give him his bucket of gold and then strangle him." (all laugh)

Steve: What track do you want to play on there?

Lemmy: Uh, play…track eleven is it, I think?

Steve: Eleven is "Kingdom of The Worm".

Lemmy: "Kingdom of the Worm"

Steve: There's no profanity, is there?

Lemmy: No.

Steve: Okay. We'll get that cued up.

Lemmy: What do you care anyway? You're about as profane as anybody I know.

Steve: I am profanity. I AM Profanity.

Lemmy: You are profanity, in person.

Steve: That's a nice-sounding guitar.

Lemmy: (plays a bit of a melody) The great Stones song.

Steve: Hey what is that? Oh, Stones!

(They play and sing some of, "Tell Me" by the Rolling Stones)

Lemmy: Let's play the other track on the album…

Steve: This is world premiere…

Lemmy: World preem…

Steve: of Henry the Eighth's new album.

Lemmy: Yeah, it's by Motorhead.

Steve: Entitled…

Slim Jim: Henry the Eightff.

Lemmy: "Kingdom of The Worm".

Steve: "King of The Worm" is the track and the album is called…

Lemmy: "Kiss of Death".

Steve: "Kiss of Death", working title. World premiere. Take it away…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: Can you do an English accent, Slim Jim?

Slim Jim: Yeah..

Steve: Go on.

Slim Jim: Certainly

Lemmy: Certainly.

Steve: So, where'd you get your Brylcreem from?

Slim Jim: (English accent) Down at chemist's. King's Road.

Steve: Nice.

Lemmy: Yeah. Lovely.

Slim Jim: Right at Bofer (?) Street, where they meet.

Steve: Yeah. That's not bad. Keep going.

Lemmy: (?)

Steve: Go on, carry on you've got a couple more seconds.

Slim Jim: What'd you want?

Steve: What you want?

Lemmy: What ya want?

Steve: (broad U.S. accent) Excuse me, Slim Jim?

Lemmy: Say what?

Slim Jim: Pardon?

Steve: Yeah, you talk to me in English and I'll talk to you in American. Let's have a conversation.

Slim Jim: All right.

Lemmy: I'll speak in the middle of it now and again, in Welsh. How's that?

Steve: Okay. Slim Jim, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

Slim Jim: Fry up.

Lemmy: (?)

Steve: What is a "fry up", Slim Jim? Can you explain?

Slim Jim: Egg, ?, sauce, mushy peasios, tommos, bread slicios,

Steve: That is a terrible English accent.

Lemmy: Yeah, that was terrible, that part. You could have run away with it there.

Steve: (continuing with U.S. accent) You disappointed me, Slim Jim.

Slim Jim: I don't want to be English.

Steve: I'm staying with it.

Slim Jim: Sorry…sorry, pardon?

Steve: Is that the end?

Slim Jim: I don't know…

Steve: I'd really like to get to know you, Slim Jim. But you're making it very difficult for me.

Lemmy: I want you to know this most sincerely.

Slim Jim: How come when English guys do American, they always do that Wink Martindale, game show,"You've won a Cadillac and a new, second-hand fridge!!"

Lemmy: That's what you hear on the TV adverts all the time, all day and night, innit?

Steve: Exactly. Cos when you're in England, they even…they're used to watch all them…

Lemmy: (U.S. accent, TV voiceover style) "When you drive a Saturn, you're really driving."

Slim Jim: And everyone thinks that the British are like Terry Thomas or…

Steve: Yeah, and there's one post office.

Lemmy: Terry Thomas was wonderful. Nobody in America ever heard of him…he was excellent.

Steve: Died a poor man.

Lemmy: Yeah, I know.

Steve: But he was brilliant.

Lemmy: But he grew his (?) so it wasn't all bad.

Steve: Yeah.

Slim Jim: It's the butler from Batman, Terry Thomas or The Beatles, everyone thinks that…

Steve: Or horse and cart, still…and, "Excuse me, do you know Ron? He lives in England somewhere."

Lemmy: And Jane Seymour.

Steve: "Ron. He lives somewhere in England, you must know him!"

Slim Jim: "Over there in England…"

Lemmy: Yeah, it's real small over there, right? Everybody knows everybody else.

Steve: Cobblestones and pork pies…

Slim Jim: It's raining all the time and it's got a lot of fog.

(some phonetic spellings of intentionally mispronounced words up ahead)

Lemmy: "Glousesstershire".

Steve: "Is that anywhere near Ly-shester Square?"

Slim Jim: They drink warm beer and it's foggy all the time.

Steve: "I believe the river THAYmes is having a flood"

Lemmy: They say "Kilmeister" to me.

Steve: Who?

Lemmy: "Kilmeister". I mean, why would you do that. It's obviously "Kilmister", you know…

Steve: "Westmeinster".

Lemmy: They have to change something in the word to make it American, like…

Steve: Well, no they…that's how it's, if you look at it…they say it how it looks on paper.

Lemmy: No, if it was "MYster" it would be "mei". It's just "mi".

Steve: Like "THAYmes" actually looks like "THAYmes".

Lemmy: Yeah but, Kilmister don't. It's just "mi"…it's not "mei". It's just Kilmister. You know.

Steve: I mean, "CIA"…

Lemmy: I want to just say, to the Southern Californian audience, my name is Kilmister, not "Kilmeister", thank you. That's all from today's Names Bulletin.

Slim Jim: But what the British don't get is that the minute…

Lemmy: And it's not "Fraysier", either. My middle name is Fraser, okay? Jesus. Like Frankie…

Steve: Yeah, Frankie Fraser. He was a nice chap.

Lemmy: No he wasn't.

Steve: I know, that's what I'm talking about.

Lemmy: Very, very (?)

Steve: I know.

Lemmy: Stitched people's legs together.

Steve: I knocked him out, once. He's nothing.

Lemmy: Right, yeah…

Steve: Lightweight.

Lemmy: What, swung your guitar around and he was in the way…

Steve: I just stared at him and he melted.

Lemmy: Oh, give him a nasty staring, yeah…(laughs)

Steve: What was you gonna say, Slim Jim?

Slim Jim: That the British don't get that if they point out that you're saying it wrong, any Americans, especially New Yorkers, will just say it wrong on purpose from then on out.

Steve: Oh, rully?

Lemmy: Is that right?

Slim Jim: I remember getting into almost a riot cos I kept saying, "Thank you, Eedenburg".

Steve: What is "Eedenburg"?

Slim Jim: I think you guys say, "Edinbruh"

Steve: Oh, Edinburgh.

Lemmy: "Edinberg", yes. "Edinburrow"

Slim Jim: I just kept saying "Eedenburg" at the gig and they were getting very upset.

Lemmy: "Edinburrow". "Edinburrow". And "GlazCOW".

Slim Jim: "GlazCOW"

Lemmy: Like "MosCOW".

Steve: See, see, cos American people are saying it how they see it. "MosCOW'. It looks like "MosCOW".

Lemmy: Yeah, it does.

Steve: We say "MosCOH" for whatever…God knows why.

Lemmy: It still looks like Kilmister.

Steve: "Ly-shesster"!

Lemmy: "Ly-sesstershire"

Steve: (loud, in U.S. accent) "Excuse me, young Cockney man, can you point me in the direction of Ly-shesster Square, please thank you?"

Slim Jim: (cockney accent) All right, darling!

Steve: We're going to visit the Duke, we'll be right back. We're here with Lemmy and Slim Jim…Phantommmm.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 1031 with my guest Lemmy…

Lemmy: Hello children, hello.

Steve: Hello, boys and girls.

Slim Jim: Hello.

Lemmy: (?) over there.

Steve: And Slim Jim Phantom.

Slim Jim: Hello.

Steve: Do you still frequent the Rainbow, Lemmy?

Lemmy: Oh, yes. I have been known to.

Slim Jim: Only when it's open.

Lemmy: Only when they're open, yes. Because otherwise it's so…dead, you know.

Steve: I told the Bananarama birds that, if you wanna find you, that that's probably where you'll be.

Lemmy: See, she was just saying that to be like, one of the lads, you know. (all laugh)

Steve: No, I think they really, back in the day, that blonde one fancied you. You know she mentioned as well, was that other girl you used to knock about with, Ilene of Irene…

Lemmy: Motorcycle Irene.

Steve: Yeah.

Slim Jim: Tell us about Motorcycle Irene.

Lemmy: Oh, she was great. She ended up with Steve Zodiac out of…

Slim Jim: Zodiac Mindwarp?

Lemmy: No no. Steve Zodiac, the singer out of some heavy metal band. I forget what, I honestly forgot the name, but anyway she was with Philthy for a bit, you know.

Steve: I had, I had little a sample of…

Lemmy: She gave him the name "Philthy".

Steve: I think she gave me gonorrhea.

Lemmy: Probably.

Slim Jim: Really?

Steve: Yes.

Lemmy: Probably served you right, anyway, you know.

Steve: I probably asked for it.

Lemmy: Yeah, tomcatting about the place…with your white vest on and the hankie on your head, Jesus Christ.

Slim Jim: Might as well just have slept with Philthy and cut out the middleman.

Steve: You was, you mentioned earlier that you did, you played a lot with them School Girls, right.

Lemmy: Girl's School.

Steve: Girl's School.

Lemmy: I played with school girls but not in the same thing, you know.

Steve: Right. Did you ever have it off with any of them while you were working with them?

Lemmy: I must admit yes, two of 'em.

Steve: Hmmm.

Lemmy: Not at the same time, you know. I mean one has to draw the line somewhere.

Steve: Yes. One has some morals.

Lemmy: (?) two, though. That would be a breach of etiquette.

Slim Jim: They did "Top Of The Pops" with you guys. Girl's School and Motorhead.

Steve: Breach of a contract.

Lemmy: No, etiquette.

Steve: Petticoat?

Lemmy: You remember etiquette, don't you Steve?

Steve: Etticoat Lane.

Lemmy: No, etiquette.

Steve: Oh, etiquette.

Lemmy: You know, what you put over a bed to keep the sheets clean.

Steve: I'll show you etiquette…(pauses to lift bum to microphone, farts) there's etiquette.

Lemmy: That wasn't etiquette.

Steve: What was that.

Lemmy: That was a mouse dying.

Steve: That was, you can tell I'm a virgin though, couldn't ya?

Lemmy: Yeah, right. It was small, wunnit?

Steve: (German accent) Gudenteiten.

Lemmy: That was just like Frankie (?) then, you'd better watch out.

Steve: (laughs) Do you know the German word for virgin?

Lemmy: Virgin.

Steve: No. What's the German word…

Lemmy: Yeah, isn't it "virgin", the same?

Steve: No.

(it appears that here that someone has said a naughty word. The conversation jumps to Steve singing a little fanfare)

Slim Jim: I am so happy that I could elicit that response.

Steve: I did that yesterday too. I haven't done that in two years. It was crazy. Well the German word for virgin is "Gudenteiten".

Lemmy: Oh…yeah?

Steve: Yeah.

Slim Jim: Wooden what?


Slim Jim: Oh.

Steve: Don't you get it?

Slim Jim: (laughs). Wheee.

Steve: Never mind.

Lemmy: You know…it wasn't that great.

Steve: Let's play a song. Let's play your version, from your new album…

Lemmy: Judas Priest.

Steve: Judas Priest…what's the name of it?

Lemmy: "Brokering The Law"

Steve: Yes, "Breaking The Law". Take it away, Mr. Shovel.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You've been listening to Jonesy's Jukebox. That was Fu Manchu and that song was called, "Written In Stone". Before that was Little Richard and that song was, "The Girl Can't Help It".

Lemmy: Before that was…

Steve: "The Girl Can't Help It".

Lemmy: Oh yeah I know, but before that.

Steve: Was Flaming Groovies, a song called, "Teenage Head", from an album, "Teenage Head".

Slim Jim: You're kind of sporting a Fu Manchu yourself, Steve.

Steve: Huh?

Slim Jim: You've got a bit of a Fu Manchu goin' on there.

Steve: What is a Fu Manchu?

Lemmy: It's a sort of moustache, you know.

Steve: Is it a certain way to eat?

Lemmy: No.

Slim Jim: Chop sticks.

Steve: Ten chews to one bite?

Slim Jim: Both of you guys got this Fu Manchu thing goin' on. I feel a little bit left out.

Lemmy: …it's Attila The Hun.

Steve: Well, they're the next, they're the next ones to be careful of, the Chinese. They're gonna slip in 'round the back door. So, I'm preparing to be all for Chinese.

Lemmy: Yeah, right. On all fours. (general laughter)

Steve: (shouts) "Okay, take me, Mr. Fu Manchu!"

Lemmy: Next!

Steve: Be gentle!

Lemmy: Assume the position…

Steve: Then we had Hawkwind and that song was called, "Silver Machine" from an album, "Stasis". How d'ya say it? What's that mean?

Lemmy: What?

Steve: The name of the album, "Stasis"?

Lemmy: Stasis.

Steve: What's that mean?

Slim Jim: The Pistols did that song, right?

Lemmy: Nothing moving.

Steve: Nothing moving. That is absolutely right.

Lemmy: How 'bout that. Cor blimey.

Slim Jim: Didn't you Sex Pistols do that song?

Steve: We did it, we did it in the Crystal Palace four years ago. We opened up with that, "Silver Machine"…

Slim Jim: The audience was kind of shocked, I remember weren't they, a little bit?

Steve: and I think we did it at the Glen Helen…(Glen Helen Pavillion, a large ampitheatre in Southern California)

Lemmy: Glen Helen?

Slim Jim: The Glen Matlock Pavillion?

Steve: Yeah, named after the…

Lemmy: …the famous star of stage and screen.

Steve: Then we had, "Stupid Girl" by the "Aftermath" album, UK, by the Rolling Stones and then we had a world premiere of (a) Lemmy version of, "Breaking The Law".

Lemmy: Yes.

Steve: From his new album.

Lemmy: No, it's not from my new album, it's going on a tribute to Judas Priest album.

Steve: Oh, it is? So what is this then, I'm holding? Just bits and pieces?

Lemmy: That is the album, but it's two extra tracks on the end of it.

Steve: Can't you add that as a bonus track?

Lemmy: On the Motorhead? It's for a Judas Priest tribute album.

Steve: Oh.

Lemmy: (one more time) It's a tribute, you know…to Judas Priest.

Steve: Yeah. (laughs)

Lemmy: And all things like that.

Steve: That is very good. Good version.

Lemmy: Thank you.

Steve: Suits you very well, that song. You should do that live.

Lemmy: Difficult, doing that riff while you're singing.

Steve: But it's on the guitar though, innit?

Lemmy: No, it's guitar and bass.

Steve: The bass does that? (emulates riff)

Lemmy: On that, yeah.

Steve: Really?

Lemmy: You can do something like that in the studio, can't you? See…

Steve: Why'd you make it complicated.

Lemmy: Oh, because it's nicer complicated, innit?

Steve: Can we play a song on the guitar?

Lemmy: Yeah. What would you like to play?

Steve: I dunno. Something…what, you put it away?

Lemmy: No I haven't. It's on that chair, over there.

Steve: Excellent! Let me get it for you, my Liege.

Slim Jim: Bang off.

(slight pause while Steve retrieves the guitar)

Lemmy: Thank you, thank you very much, thank you.

Steve: Yes, there we go. Oh, we got to go visit The Duke, we're going to work something out. We'll be right back after these messages. Thanks for listening.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox…

Lemmy: Yes.

Steve: On Indie 1031.

Slim Jim: The best stuff's during the commercials. We're talking about all sorts of interesting stuff during the commercials and now when we…

Steve: It always is that way.

Slim Jim: …and now when the red light goes on, it dries up into just babbling and…

Lemmy: Oh alright then…put funny accents on…

Steve: No, I don't think it dries up, it's just that then, then you've got nothing to say cos you've said all the good stuff.

Slim Jim: We're talking about all sorts of good stuff.

Lemmy: Yeah, you've been talking, you come to a lull and then the red light goes on again.

Steve: Yeah, ridiculous.


Lemmy: I suppose this is another lull, then, is it?

Steve: Hold on…


Steve: Yes.

Lemmy: Yes.

Steve: That is a lull, yes. Um, what was that song we was just playing?

Lemmy: "Rave On".

Steve: Buddy Holly. Was you a big fan of Buddy Holly?

Lemmy: Oh, yeah.

Steve: Who was your favorite Fifties artist?

Lemmy: Between Buddy Holly and Little Richard, I suppose. Little Richard probably would win. Cos he was so like, cheerful about it all and he had terrible problems, you know what I mean?

Slim Jim: Imagine being Little Richard in the Fifites, man?

(a ringtone can be heard in the background)

Steve: Oh, forget about it.

Slim Jim: That's a tough…

Lemmy: There's your phone there, Steve.

Steve: Yeah, I know. (answers it) Hello?

Lemmy: (?)

Slim Jim: He was the rockinest of 'em all, Little Richard.

Steve: Yeah. I'm on the air. (concludes call)

Lemmy: Yeah, he was - best vocal.

Slim Jim: Best vocal, best band. I mean there's always Elvis, of course. That's a different a…Elvis is a different category but Little Richard was the baddest.

Lemmy: Elvis was just first. You know, he wasn't the best, he was just first and he created the look, you know.

Slim Jim: You won't hear a bad word against Elvis here.

Steve: He wrote songs…Little Richard, didn't he? He wrote his songs.

Lemmy: He wrote a few of 'em, yeah. I mean Elvis never wrote much of his, did he?

Slim Jim: You won't hear any aspersions about Elvis, I just won't…

Lemmy: Oh, Jesus Christ…

Steve: (U.S. accent) "He had a great 'look'".

Lemmy: Yeah, he looked great. Yeah.

Slim Jim: Buddy Holly is the one that wrote all the songs.

Steve: Huh?

Lemmy: Buddy Holly.

Slim Jim: Buddy Holly really wrote the songs. Out of all of 'em he was the best songwriter.

Steve: Did you like Eddie Cochran?

Lemmy: Yeah.

Steve: I liked Eddie Cochran.

Lemmy: Yeah, I liked Eddie Cochran, but he did a lot of turkeys too, unfortunately.

Steve: He did a lot of what?

Lemmy: Lot of duff B-sides, you know.

Steve: Did he?

Lemmy: Well, yeah.

Slim Jim: They were all though, so good. There's no way to…

Lemmy: He got all (? Two talking at once)…you know, I mean like, "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You", that was the last thing he put out before he died, wunnit?

Steve: Have you ever written a…

Lemmy: Who knows where he was going with that, you know.

Steve: Have you…yeah, but so?

Lemmy: (?) in Las Vegas (indecipherable, two talking at once)

Slim Jim: He was on his way to Bristol and some English cab driver killed him, that's all I know.

Lemmy: I think it was a (?) killed him. (indecipherable, two talking at once)

Steve: Yeah, but Buddy Holly wrote…love songs.

Lemmy: Eh?

Steve: Buddy Holly wrote love songs, didn't he?

Lemmy: Oh, yeah.

Slim Jim: Buddy Holly wrote the best songs out of all those…

Steve: You opposed to love songs?

Lemmy: No.

Steve: You just don't care for…you don't want to write any.

Lemmy: You said it again.

Steve: What?

Lemmy: The "F" word.

Steve: No, I didn't.

Lemmy: Yeah, you did.

Steve: I said, "you don't care for 'em".

Lemmy: You did. Dirty old Steve. Wash your mouth out with soap.

Slim Jim: Dirty rotter.

Lemmy: Dirty rotten.

Steve: What a rotter.

Lemmy: A dirty rotter. I say sir, you must be a…

Steve: I say, hard cheese!

Lemmy: I'd say, "You bounder!" (laughter)

Slim Jim: What about Gene Vincent. He was the other "bad" guy.

Lemmy: Yeah, he was good, too. He was great.

Steve: (Starts play guitar and sing)
Be bop a lula she's my baby
Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe
Be bop a lula she's my baby
Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe

Steve and Lemmy:
Be bop a lula, she, she is

My baby doll, my baby doll, my baby doll

Well, she's the girl…got

Slim Jim:
…that beat

She's the queen of all the teens
She's the one woman that I know
She's the woman that loves me so!

Be bop a lula, my baby

Steve and Lemmy:
Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe

Be bop a lula she, she, she's
My baby doll, my baby doll, my baby doll

Okay, let's rock!

(Steve and Lemmy do so until it's time to sing again and they miss their cue)

Steve: There's that lull again!

Lemmy: (picks it up)
…with the flying feet
She's the woman walking 'round the store
She's the one that gives me…

Be bop a lula she's my baby
Be bop a lula - don't mean maybe
Be bop a lula she, she, she's
My baby doll, my baby doll, my baby doll

Steve: Excellent.

Slim Jim: That was too high for anybody to sing.

Lemmy: No, no it wasn't.

Steve: What's that other one we was doing?

Lemmy: What?

Steve: The other one. "Rave On". In "E", right?

Lemmy: What's that?

Steve: "Rave On".

Lemmy: "Rave On"…

(they start to play)

The way you dance and hold me tight
The way you kiss and say goodnight
Rave on, it's a crazy feelin'
And I know it's got me reelin'
When you say I love you, rave on

Rave on, it's a crazy feelin'
And I know it's got me reelin'
I'm so glad that you're relieving (sic)
Your love for me

Rave on, rave on and tell me
Tell me not to be lonely
Tell me you love me only
Rave on me

Slim Jim: C'mon, Stevo!
(guitar break, a bit of a jam here)

Rave on, rave on and tell me
Tell me not to be lonely
Tell me you love me only
Rave on me

Steve: Excellent!

Lemmy: Yes.

Steve: What's, what's this one? (he starts to chug away at his guitar, when he adds a "whooshing" sound it becomes recognizable as the intro to "Silver Machine". Lemmy laughs)

Slim Jim: Did you guys take drugs before you recorded this?

Steve: (sings at the top of his lungs with "whooshing" effects provided by Slim Jim)
I, I just took a ride
My Silver Machine
you know what I mean
Do you want to ride
See yourself going by
In an electric ride
You laalala waaaaAAAAHH!
I've got a Silver Machine
I've got a Silver Machine
I've got a Silver Machine
I've got a Silver Machine

Lemmy: Yes, it's um, not one of them songs you can do really well, accoustically.

Steve: Not early in the morning.

Lemmy: No, no. Not that high.

Slim Jim: He does everything high.

Lemmy: No, that was actually the key it was in, but late at night I could reach it.

Steve: Yeah. (starts to sing it again, much lower and sort of like Elvis)
Ahhh, Ah jes took a ride
On muh Silver Machine
a-you know what uh mean
a-do you wanna ride
See yuhself goin' by
It's an electric light
You know what, a-know what-a mean (all laugh)

Lemmy: That's a…that's the Edward G. Robinson version.

Steve: That's a, yeah…it's the Tom Waits version. Do we have a song, Mr. Shovel? Take it away, whatever it is.

Lemmy: In some ways it sounds like Louie Armstrong it's funny…go on.

(Mr. Shovel puts on "God Save The Queen" by Motorhead)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox.

Lemmy: And suddenly…

Steve: And suddenly - there's a lull!

Lemmy: Another lull. We should string 'em together, you know.

Steve: Yeah. Have a lullabye. Um, that was great. What was that? That was you…

Lemmy: That was "Peggy Sue Got Married", an old Buddy Holly song.

Slim Jim: That was us.

Steve: You're playing all the instruments, Lemmy?

Lemmy: No, no. Jim and Danny played most of them. I was just playing rhythm guitar but I did all the vocals.

Steve: All the vocals.

Slim Jim: All those harmonies. He goes and knocks 'em out. It's pretty amazing to watch.

Steve: He's multi-talented, Lemmy.

Slim Jim: He is.

Steve: Like Henry the Eighth.

Lemmy: Planet Of The Apes, yeah. (general laughter)

Steve: Henry The…Planet Of The Apes, multi-talented.

Lemmy: Henry The Eighth and Planet Of The Eighth?

Steve: Yeah. All good stuff.

Lemmy: Henry Of The Apes.

Slim Jim: But we call the band The Head Cat.

Steve: Yeah. That's a good name for a band. "Henry and The Apes".

Lemmy: Henry and The Apes. Yes. Then we get people in the (?) to pronounce it (?).

Steve: Yes, exactly. Well the cops could use that as a thing to say, "Say, 'Henry and The Apes' really quickly" to find out if you're drunk or not. "HenryandTheApesHenryandTheApes".

Lemmy: You're drunk.

Steve: Yeah…no I'm not!

Slim Jim: That was a Herman's Hermits song.

Steve: Huh?

Slim Jim: Herman's Hermits had a song.

Lemmy: "It wasn't me, sir", it was…

Steve: It was the…steering wheel.

Slim Jim: Henry The Eighth.

All (suddenly start singing)

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Steve: (starts to play guitar) First verse, same as the second verse!

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Lemmy: I'm a rumblin, rumblin rumblin' guy…

Steve: (sings to tune of "Henry")
I am the Ace of Spades
Ace of Spades I am, I am

Lemmy: No, no…it wouldn't work.

Steve: No?

Lemmy: No. There was a good rockabilly version of that once. (sings)
The Ace Of Spaades! That was funny.

Steve: Someone did that?

Slim Jim: We did it one time. We did it at the Lyceum one time, in London.

Lemmy: Yeah, the Redbeards From Texas, it was…

Steve: Oh, rully?

Lemmy: Really. Yes, really.

Steve: Is that near Ly-shesster?

Lemmy: No, it's Glushester…

Slim Jim: Worschester…shire. Where the sauce comes from.

Steve: Wait! Shush…shush! Breaking news! (lifts bum to microphone, farts)

Lemmy: Ohhh…that was not Glustsesstershire, was it?

Steve: That was Ly-sesstersquarererer. That was Piccadilly Soycusoycusoycus.

Lemmy: Pic-a-dially…

Steve: Um, we're gonna visit The Duke and say goodbye…

Slim Jim: You've got to plug this gig or we'll get in trouble.

Steve: Go on then, plug it!

Slim Jim: Lemmy and us - and me, we are The Head Cat. We're going to Mexico tomorrow. Wouldn't you like have those holiday snaps. Mexico. And then we're playing Anaheim House of Blues, 25th, The Head Cat. Lemmy, Slim Jim and some other guy, Danny B. Harvey.

Lemmy: Be there or be square.

Steve: And you're gonna do all this, that album?

Slim Jim: Yeah, it's all rockabilly, Lemmy's favorite, favorite rockabilly selections.

Steve: And Lemmy's doing all the singing?

Slim Jim: Lemmy's does the singing, Danny B. Harvey plays guitar, I play the drums and warble a bit and…

Lemmy: Warble a BIT?

Slim Jim: I warble a bit.

Steve: (shouting in U.S. game show accent) Well that's just great, Slim Jim. That's just great. Thanks for comin' by!!

Lemmy: Are you being sincere?

Steve: I'm being TOTALLY sincere.

Lemmy: You didn't sound sincere then.

Slim Jim: He's not sincere really, is he?

Lemmy: He's not sincere.

Slim Jim: He's got all these people fooled on the radio.

Lemmy: I think he's just toying with our damned emotions, that's all.

Steve: When, when's the first gig?

Slim Jim: The first gig is in Mexico, tomorrow.

Steve: Oh well, that's no good…no one's hearing it here.

Lemmy: How do you know? How do you know, eh?

Slim Jim: And the Anaheim House of Blues…

Lemmy: How do you know they're aren't Mexicans on vacation who're going back tomorrow, eh?

Slim Jim: Anaheim House of Blues...

Steve: (cackles) So…you're not playing at your club, The Cat House?

Slim Jim: …the 25th. The Cat CLUB.

Steve: The Cat Club, the 25th.

Lemmy: Yeah.

Lemmy and Slim Jim: (together) No.

Lemmy: Uh, no.

Steve: (confused) What IS this…?!

(all talking at once)

Slim Jim: You don't listen. You talk over everybody!

Steve: …"The University Challenge"? What is this!?

Lemmy: You assumed it was at the Cat Club, didn't you?

Steve: "Your starter for ten" Bamber Gascoigne!

Lemmy: You assumed, didn't you?

Steve: "You did say 'yes' then, didn't you?"

Steve and Lemmy: "GONG!"

Lemmy: "Take Your Pick."

Steve: No, what was it, "Open The Box", Michael Miles, wunnit?

Lemmy: No, it was "Take Your Pick", the "Yes-No Interlude".

Steve: Yeah, that's right. That was it. "Take Your Pick".

Lemmy: With the little (?) gong…

Steve: Excellent, wunnit? Try to make you say "Yes" or "No". "You didn't say 'yes' then did you?" "No".

Lemmy: "How did you get here tonight?"
"I came in a car"
"Did you come in a car?"
"I, ahhh…did…come in a car…"

Steve: And then you'd win like, a bag of sweets, right?

Lemmy: A bag of peanuts or something.

Slim Jim: Second-hand fridge.

Steve: We're going to visit The Duke, thanks for listening.

(Note: They never did come back to say goodbye. A two o'clock fire drill drove them all out of the building. And there you have it.)

End of interview.

Transcribed by Floratina.

Exclusive production for Kick Down The Doors. 26.5.06

Thanks to Mark Shovel, Indie 103.1, Chris, Phil and a special Sex Pistol thank you to Steve Jones.

Steve Jones radio show Jonesy's Jukebox is broadcast Monday to Friday on Indie 103.1 at 12 noon to Pacific Standard Time or to in the UK. There is a rebroadcast of the first or the second hour 4 hours after it finishes. There is now a "best of" highlights of the week show on a Saturday for 2 hours at 12 noon Pacific Standard Time. That's 8pm - 10pm in the UK.

Jonesy's Jukebox is available as streaming audio over the Internet with Apple itunes, Microsoft Windows media player, Nullsoft winamp shoutcast players or similar. Indie 103.1 website Selected podcasts of previous Jukebox shows are available on the Indie 103.1 website.

Visit for more lovingly transcribed best bits of Jonesy's Jukebox.

Return to Jonesy's Jukebox - Transcription Index

Return Home

All material ©1998/2006 / All rights reserved. ©Phil Singleton